On a normal day I try to fit in at least an hour of gaming, whether it is unlocking an achievement, progressing further into a level or simply blowing the stuffing out of things for fun. Having recently escaped World Of Warcraft, where I would think nothing of spending/wasting four hours at a time raiding, exploring or making magic carpets, I had the good sense to try the other formats, game styles and multiplayer experiences that were available to me. I felt like a boy in a toy store. I had a whole host of gaming to try out: steering with a wheel on the new Mario Kart, destroying an entire town in Fallout, annihilating wave after wave of zombies in Left 4 Dead and soaked it all up without hesitation.
I have recently been on the receiving end of a certain flu that is doing the rounds, which presented me with the rare opportunity of being alone in a house for a week with my friend’s PC, Wii and Xbox and a whole lot of quarantine time.
Preparing my game HQ was a therapeutic experience. I lined up the controllers on the side of the sofa so that no movement was required to turn on the consoles. A large water, stacks of anti-flu tablets and a big bag of crisps were placed within grabbing range should I get hungry or thirsty, and Pizza Planet was on speed dial should I forgo the use of my legs entirely. The plan was simple: my girlfriend had bought Dead Rising and also Super Paper Mario for the Wii, a game that after 20 years of terrible dialogue translations showed that Nintendo can finally write a funny script for the English. This was perfect, I had one week to sit back, relax and cane my way through two fantastic games. Sounds perfect right? Wrong.
I have the attention span of a five-year-old at the best of times and rarely focus on one game at a time. At the beginning it felt like I was about to embark on a great crusade, conquering all obstacles that lay before me as I had no time limit, no bus to catch, no curfew with which to return to bed and most importantly, no alarm clock in the morning.
Sitting down with Mario and his 2D/3D adventure I was raring to go. How I would laugh at the surprisingly funny dialogue, ‘ooh’ when I switched between 2D and 3D to solve a puzzle for the first time and pump my fist in the air when I figure out how to defeat the boss! After 40 minutes of all the above taking place, the will to play any more drained from me like it was being sucked out of my head through a straw. It’s a great game, I’m in the process of finishing it as we speak, but at that moment it felt like I had just been switched to 2D and a fat plumber had jumped on MY head.
Not to worry, I had Dead Rising to keep me busy. I was particularly keen to get hold of the lawnmower and the chainsaw and get the story/slaughter underway without hesitation. 40 minutes later the same thing happened. I go inexplicably bored with what I was doing. I was enjoying it, hell I could decapitate zombies all day long with a myriad of different kitchen appliances. But the act of playing a game, any game, seemed to have lost its appeal that morning. What was happening here? I had all the time I could want to play all the games I had, yet I had the overwhelming urge to do no such thing.
The problem with illness is that it makes you feel like crap, the problem with this particular illness is that it makes you feel like crap and you’re stuck indoors for an entire week without any human contact. As with anything I do, I need to be in the mood for it to fully appreciate it, whether it’s music, the pub or a movie, I have to really want it to get the desired effect. When you only have the option of gaming, things tend to get a little dull very quickly. I resorted to the time honoured tradition of chicken soup and plenty of TV.
People claim that playing computer games is a brainless activity that requires little thought or skill to achieve. If anything, you need to be physically and mentally prepared to sit down and enjoy a games marathon. When I know a Rock Band session is planned or a new demo is being released, I can get my gaming Zen on days in advance, prepare to unleash my full fury on unsuspecting players and take home the gold! As the week progressed, I felt the unusual urge to got outside, see people and do anything but stay indoors and play more games. As I recovered, I realised I had done nothing constructive in week off. Zip. Bupkiss. And that’s the point of being ill, you don’t want to do anything except get better.
Gaming, or indeed any enjoyable activity when ill, is like taking a beautiful member of the opposite sex home when blind drunk. You really look forward to getting the wrapping off and enjoying everything they have to offer on the way back, but when you get there you realise that you have the dexterity of a walrus and need more rest than a narcoleptic koala. But still you persevere.
Long time gamer and budding games designer, Steve was created back when 8-bit was the height of technology and a d-pad provided unparalleled interaction. This is his first foray into games journalism and hopes to one day teach kids the do's and don'ts of gaming. "
